Broken Dreams

Dear Friend,
There's so much I wish I could share with you. I'm sure we've both had to deal with a lot of pain and heartache in our lives. What I want you to know is that there is also a lot of joy. Has life just punched you out one to many times that you didn't know where to turn or what to do? In my struggles --about 11 years ago, I finally turned back to my Bible to look for some answers. I started praying and asking God to teach me how to pray and how to live and how to do His will. Years passed and I made many more big mistakes as I tried to deal with what life handed me.

At the same time however, I realized that God was answering my prayers and I was learning. I began to learn that most of the garbage I was going through was due to my own mistakes and sins of both the past and the present. One of the first things I did was to get rid of all the New Age stuff and books I had accumulated, as I'd learned from the Bible how terrible that stuff is in God's sight. I began asking Him to forgive me for all my sins. I really had no excuse. I'd known the Bible before. It just hadn't seemed "personal" before. It had seemed more like a history book, not one that was written for and about me. I had always felt that there was no way I could live up to God's expectations. I'd try and then get so frustrated and depressed because I just couldn't do it.

I didn't understand then that God didn't expect me too. I felt a lot like Humpty Dumpty. Both my whole life and me were in a lot of broken pieces and no one could ever put them back together again. Then one day I finally discovered the truth that Jesus had died to cover all my sins-past. Present and future, not just some of them! I discovered that He could and would restore all that I had lost over the years. He could put the pieces back together again! I was thrilled! I felt 'clean' for the first time ever! I had a clean slate and could now start over, and even the mistakes and sins I committed from now on would be covered!

Then God showed me how He would actually give me His power to do His will! Now it wasn't me trying to do things on my own-it was God living in me doing His will! It was awesome. I discovered that God was every bit as powerful now as He was in "Bible Times".

He still worked miracles on a regular basis, and still changed the lives of His people for the better! He still talks to people, even everyday kind of people like me! I began to learn more of just how great, good, deep and compassionate, His love is for His children. I began to understand that He loves to give His children good gifts and blessings, but because He is a Righteous and Just God, he cannot bless us when we are disobedient to Him. So the more obedient we became, the more He blessed us.

I learned that once you have asked Jesus to come into your heart and be your personal Lord and King, and to forgive your sins, He forgives them all, and begins to bless our lives. He does however expect us to turn from our sins and do our best to live in a way that is honoring to Him. Then He even helps us do it! He died an agonizing death on a cross, just so He could forgive your sins. (and mine) He knew all about you, even then. He thought of you, and gave His life, so you wouldn't have to.

You may think that going to church can't help you, and you're right. Church, in and of itself, can't help anyone. Jesus can. Jesus changes lives. Jesus brings hope where there is none, and God can make a way where there is no way. I know that as an absolute fact. He did it for me. A church building is just where people who know Jesus, get together to worship Him, learn more about Him and His Will and plan for them. It's where people who love the Lord can meet together to give moral, spiritual, physical, and material support to each other. It's where people who love the Lord can get together with the rest of their family-because in Christ we are truly family to each other and love each other as such. Some churches reflect that love better than others. We have been blessed to be part of a church that is filled with people honestly trying to reflect the love of Christ in every aspect of their lives.

I've learned that there is a big difference between knowing about Jesus and knowing Him personally. Before, my life was a constant struggle to prove that I deserved to be loved. Now I live as someone who can celebrate the truth of my belovedness every day. The first time I felt the Lord's love for me personally, I was so overwhelmed! It was awesome! Slowly I came to realize that I could trust Him, that He wasn't going to abandon me. I learned to trust His word and know it for the Truth. The Bible became a long collection of love letters that the Lord had written just for me. He showed me in His Word that He forgives all my sins, heals all my diseases, redeems my life from the pit, (and I was in a deep one!) and crowns me with love and compassion. He satisfies my desires with good things so that my youth is renewed like the eagles. (that's in Psalm 103:3-5) He daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves! (Psalm 68: 19-20) He says that He will contend with those who contend with me and that He will save my children. (Isaiah 49:25) He promises to help and strengthen us.

I went from a knowledge that God could do all these things (and much more) to an awestruck understanding that He will do them and He wants to do them for us! One of my favorite promises from Him is in Jeremiah 29: 11. He says, "1 know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." I am just so grateful to Him for all He's done for me, and all He continues to do, I could praise Him forever! That's why I wanted to share Him with you. What He's done for me, He'll do for you. You just have to ask Him to be Your Savior.

(this was originally written back in 2001)